The Epic of Scotch

O thou, my Muse! Guid auld Scotch drink!
Whether thro' wimplin' worms thou jink,
Or, richly brown, ream owre the brink,
In glorious faem,
Inspire me, till I lisp an' wink,
To sing thy name!

It's an incredible spirit pulling at the heartstrings of a vast and heterogenous population across the globe like a bard on a mission.  

Of course, it's a bit unclear who and when created the ever theatrical 'water of life,' but it made its on-the-record debut in the mid-15th century. 

It went 'underground' (or illegal) for a period and didn't really become a commercial success until the 1820s. Around that time, it switched from Malt to Grain and column stills distillation, which dramatically widened its 'sip appeal.' 

Now, it's a global household dram that spawned its protagonist - thee Japanese Whisky. Iykyk. And if you don't - read a bloody blog.

Scotch is also vastly diverse. Aged for a minimum of 3 years in oak barrels and bottled at 40% ABV or more. There's Single Malt, Single Grain, Blended Malt, Blended Grain, and Blended Scotch Whisky. Flavor-wise, from peated and smoky ruggedness to light and almost flowery smoothness, the range is simply unmatched. 

Precisely what sipping through these tasty samples will prove. Two Speysiders and a Highlander. Not another (tough-)Guy Ritchie film, but a Single Malt sonata that hits all the high notes. 

Cheers & Haste Ye Back!

Smartass Corner
1) Ardnamurchan has the best name in the game. The English form comes from the Gaelic Murchan, meaning ‘the height of the seals.’ Another important side note: The word Murchan comes from Muir ‘sea’ and Cù ‘dog.’ So sea-dog actually means seal, as it should in every language! 

2) Scottish Rhyming Slang is a delightful Scottish style of rhyming on the basis of (local) pronunciation, un/like the better known Cockney Rhyming Slang. Ex.: Mick Jagger - lager - a pint. 

3) A bard was a professional poet/musician in medieval Scotland, employed to write and compose about the times as an oral historian and storyteller. 

4) There are 5 areas of Scotch Whisky production in Japan. Sike! It’s in the world - Islay, Speyside, Campbelltown, Lowlands, and Highlands. 

5) The main character of the 1992 Tv Series Highlander, the 400-year-old Duncan MacLeod (basically), can’t die. And the same thing is true for Scotch - it’s (basically) forever. 

6) The maturation of Scotch is highly intertwined with American Bourbon and (Spanish) Sherry. 

7) Mon Dieu! The French actually drink the most Scotch with 3 bottles per habitant yearly.